What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
