apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
