And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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