I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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