someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
