I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
