I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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