Dual....:-)
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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