Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
