okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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