Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
