Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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