"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just had sex bonerless
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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