2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
