he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
