I need help removing her.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
