i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
