SEEEEXXX PLEASE
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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