Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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