dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
