Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just invented taco cereal.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
