This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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