Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
