Having a random hookup so left but love u
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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