Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
