We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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