It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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