I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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