i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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