they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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