Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
