if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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