I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
