accomplished twins. life is a go
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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