My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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