He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
