I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
