How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
