Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
