I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
