I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
