they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
