Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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