Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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