Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
