By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
