She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
