Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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