It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
