Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
