ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
